I’ve always been a big fan of weddings. I’m outgoing and enjoy social events for the very reason that life should be celebrated. All too often, when friends complained about their social calendars and the onslaught of weddings they were asked to attend, I never understood the issue — how could you be upset about being asked to celebrate love? But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that wedding-related celebrations — bachelorette parties included — can unfortunately become your only means of socializing once you enter your 30s.
As more and more of my close friends got married and moved away from New York City, my social life shifted in a major way I never saw coming. A few close friends from college moved to the west coast, and soon, my high school friends slowly began to peel off too. With that shift, I noticed that my inner spark had started to fade.
To help combat my dwindling friend group, I focused on dating, but soon realized that finding “Mr. Right” wasn’t as easy for me as it was for my girlfriends. That’s when I decided to shift my energy — it wasn’t enough for me to simply seek out new connections and friendships. I had to be intentional and say “yes” to absolutely any and everything I was invited to. Openness and enthusiasm became my focus in hopes that new friendships would unfold.
Enter the party that changed everything: I was invited to a holiday get-together in 2023 where I knew very few people. I showed up solo, and while nervous, I was excited at the potential of meeting a single guy. Spoiler: That didn’t happen. Instead, I introduced myself to two new-to-me friends who exuded positive energy and warmth. We chatted and the three of us bonded over our shared love of work and current life stage. Our conversation flowed so seamlessly, and both women seemed so fun and fulfilled. They quickly folded me into a group chat (that’s still going strong today) and we spent more and more time together.
Fast-forward a few months, and the three of us were at a trendy restaurant in the city when summer travel plans came up in conversation. My new friends were discussing a group trip to France when they asked if I would join. The timing was perfect — all I needed to do was book a flight to St. Tropez. I was mid-burger bite when it dawned on me that I’d never have fewer responsibilities than I did at that moment. Why not take advantage of an impromptu, far-flung trip with new friends?
I booked the flight, and spent the week dancing in the south of France — a place that I had recently added my travel bucket list, oddly enough. I couldn’t remember the last time I went on a trip with friends that wasn’t in celebration of someone or something, like a bachelorette or impending wedding. In that moment, it felt empowering to have a good time just for the sake of having fun.
That was only the beginning of a large rollout of new friends that I gained, and it all started with a “yes” mindset that I applied to every invitation that appealed to me. I made it my focus to put out as much welcoming energy as possible, and while it certainly felt vulnerable at times, making new friends made me feel like myself again.
I attach a certain value to having fun, so I applied this “yes is more” mindset to new hobbies — including acting and improv — and uncovered old hobbies with new friends along the way. I joined a social club that allows me to play squash, and now use every excuse to connect (and reconnect) with friends and neighbors. I act like a tourist in my own town and even checked out a walking club in New York — City Girls Who Walk — that stresses the importance of quite literally stepping outside of your comfort zone with complete strangers.
Once I adapted to the rhythm of putting myself out there and going out of my way to meet new people, I understood that the unknown is a positive thing. So many of us, regardless of marital status or age, crave connection, whether it’s long-lasting or fleeting.
People talk about manifesting the life you want, and my version of manifesting has become saying “yes” to opportunities and connections that I feel energetically aligned to. Ultimately, I’ve started to feel like myself again as a result of meeting new people and creating memories along the way. I’m living life on my own terms, and my cup is filled because of it.
